‘The most important thing a person can do is understand how they’re coming across, because once you do you can present ideas. It opens the game very big.'
Frank Gehry, ArchitectThis is a quote from the Wisdom book series. And yes, they're wise words. Getting feedback from people whose opinion you trust is essential for understanding the way you present to the world. Why?
* Our intentions don’t always match our actions.
* Our actions sometimes don't meet our intentions.
The solutions?
You can take an inside out approach; look at your intentions and your message and check in to see that they align with your actions, or...
Take an outside in approach.
Outside in is a shortcut that's especially helpful for presenting, and one that I learnt as an actor. Just because it's a shortcut, doesn't mean it doesn't take work, but it does help you avoid navel gazing or churning yourself up.
It works on this premise; the body feels, the soul responds.
By changing the way you express yourself (mannerisms, habits, tone, inflection, posture, stance) you change not only the way you feel, but also the way you come across to your audience. With me so far? Good. This is where it gets exciting.
It also changes the way people respond to you.
You might find your audience more open, receptive and responsive. You see their faces soften, so you crack a small joke. It works. You back up the joke with solid content. They're leaning forward now. You relax, they relax. Now you're talking. What started as a presentation has just become a conversation. Result.
If on the other hand you're getting feedback such as 'you're coming across as brittle', 'Can you give it more, I dunno, presence?', or as I once heard in a boardroom, 'Mate. You've lost me, and you're sure as hell gonna lose them', rather than beating yourself up or getting defensive, (or being sent into a complete tailspin) try the second approach.
Outside in.
Start by asking people two questions.
What do you see?
What do you hear?
Don’t ask what they think.
Why? This isn't therapy, it's communication. You’re looking for the things you do that get in the way of your good intentions. You're nailing communication blind spots that misrepresent your content.
Start with changing your actions (tone of voice, inflection, volume, gesture, body language) that match your intentions (your message). Work on what they're seeing. It will change you. It will change them.
In our coaching and training we give an exercise where people present to the camera and play it back with the sound down. Why?
The camera doesn’t lie.
By narrowing it down to visuals, the person doesn't get distracted by their voice. (We do separate exercises for vocals and content).
What's important is that often mannerisms we’ve been pointing out to people are instantly illuminated; they see what their audience sees.
Coupled with expert guidance on correcting the things that work against you, these simple techniques can open your game big too.
I hope this helps you deliver your message. Please let me know if it does.
Thanks for reading
Michael Neaylon
www.mcme.com.au